As the Multi-Coloured Swap Shop turns 48 today, let’s look at some memorable pop and rock stars gracing its doors…
One thing that kids today are missing out on is the Saturday Morning Telly For Children. Because modern TV big cheeses are lazy, unimaginative plodders, they stick with the same old boring routine of cookery shows, home renovation tedium and any cheap and nasty unreality TV that they can get their grubby little mitts on.
It’s a great shame, this. The 1970s and 1980s were the golden age for kids’ magazine programmes for the weekend. Two years after the bawdy Tiswas debuted, the BBC came up with its rival show, Multi-Coloured Swap Shop. Hosted by Noel Edmonds, Swap Shop was more of a leisurely affair than Tiswas, inviting celebrities on to give away “swap” prizes and to field fool questions from kids on those old-style telephones.
As with all of its other programming, Saturday morning kids’ TV became a battleground between the two TV channels. Cool kids tended to plump for Tiswas, while squares preferred Swap Shop. Naturally, being the most uncool kid on the block, I always tuned into Swap Shop – partly because I couldn’t handle the relentless noise and forced jollity of Tiswas, and partly because back then, I couldn’t stand Chris Tarrant. Edmonds, I suppose is the lesser of two evils, but many moons ago, even then, there was something about Tarrant’s snidey pomposity that rankled. Still does.
Besides, Swap Shop belied its uncool reputation by inviting a slew of rock and pop stars to chew the Cornflakes with young viewers. I always got the sense that you could learn a lot more from Swap Shop interviews than on Tiswas, which seemed to consist of throwing coloured gunk at guests. Some of these Swap Shop guests are fascinating choices, so here are seven examples for starters.
Kate Bush
It’s hard to reconcile the wide-eyed eccentricity of Kate Bush The Pop Star with the softly-spoken, sweetly shy and unassuming Kate Bush The Kids’ TV guest. There’s another clip of Kate on a show called Razzamatazz and she’s just as down to earth and humble as she is here. I get the impression that Bush seems more comfortable talking with youngsters than adults because of that endearingly childlike quality that she has.
I’m not sure whether modern pop stars would dismiss their singing abilities quite so freely. Kate doesn’t “consider herself a singer” and says that it’s fantastic for her “that other people do”, adding that “I’m so lucky that people remember me for anything.” When asked about The Man With The Child In His Eyes, Kate explains that it’s about the men who are more or less, grown-up kids: “It’s really nice to keep that delight and wonderful things that children have.” I think the sweetest part of the interview is accepting caller Kim’s compliment about her hair, and then returning the compliment, replying that she’s sure Kim’s hair looks nice too.
Things to note: Wuthering Heights was inspired by a spooky TV show Kate saw years ago with a hand suddenly coming through a window. She then read the book and wrote and recorded it in Summer 1977. The highest note that Kate can reach is B, and she sings high notes in the bath. If she wasn’t a pop star, Kate would have been a psychiatrist. She gets her clothes from antique shops. Her favourite song is Oh England My Lionheart. Her dancing was inspired by a Lindsay Kemp show.
The Swap: Shorts. Jacket. Lionheart jacket. Japanese Sake box. Lionheart LP. All of these in return for a right answer to the question: What’s the message scratched on the Lionheart record label? (which makes the album prize a bit redundant as how else are you going to find out the answer if you don’t have the LP in the first place?)
Blondie
A bleary-eyed Debbie Harry and Chris Stein do their best to stay awake at such an ungodly hour while spreading the festive cheer on the 1979 edition before Christmas.
Blondie are currently in the UK, while doing a “nice tour” comprising 20 dates. A common question that Edmonds seems to like is making it big in different countries, in particular, America and Britain. Cliff Richard, for example, can’t seem to catch a break in America, unlike his native home – whereas Edmonds oddly asserts that Fleetwood Mac aren’t that big in the UK.
Huh? Has he checked out the total sales of the Rumours album?
Things to note: Debbie used to work in the BBC Radio New York office as a secretary. Blondie was formed in 1975 and they recorded their debut LP in August 1976. Debbie’s most enjoyable moment is being on stage. She rides a pedal bike and goes roller skating to keep fit. Chris doesn’t do sports. Blondie’s next LP will be coming out “pretty soon” – actually in just under a year, but who’s quibbling? Debbie doesn’t get nervous before concert, but instead gets excited, and for some odd reason, bangs her head against a wall. She chooses her clothes and then her friend Steve designs them: plus, she’s flattered that girls copy her look. Apart from singing, Debbie can play the drums a bit and was previously in a baroque folk rock band and a girl trio called The Stilettos. Things don’t get too crazy when Debbie does her shopping. Her current favourite songs are Accidents Never Happen and Shayla.
The Swap: Some late Christmas presents include a mobile video camera and recorder. I say mobile, you’d need the muscles of Big Daddy to lug it around, but for the time, this is quite the prize. Other goodies include the Eat To The Beat album, a T-shirt, and Debbie’s very own scarf. To win this impressive haul, viewers must answer the question: What is the original name for where Blondie come from?
The Who
Months after Keith Moon’s premature passing, new Who drummer Kenney Jones joins Roger Daltrey on the sofa on Easter Saturday 1979. When posed with the inevitable question, Daltrey admits that things will never be the same, although in some ways, it’s opened previously closed doors. Jones stepped into the breach, having known the band for a long time as his old group The Small Faces began at around the same time. After doing some drumming on the Tommy soundtrack, Jones was recruited as Moon’s replacement. In between preparing for live shows in the Autumn, The Who are starting to lay down some tracks for a new album – although it’ll take just under two years before Face Dances is finally released. Another popular question put by Edmonds to bands is the problem of touring and how singers and groups are lucky to break even after tax deductions and transport costs. Plus, America again.
Things to note: The Kids Are Alright movie is due for release in June 1979, and one of Daltrey’s ambitions is to make a movie about John McVicar – along with getting the band back on stage again. Roger began singing professionally aged 17 after frantically seeking an alternative to work. In between this rock star malarkey, Daltrey is a farmer, and Jones came second in the recent Royal International Show Jumping at Olympia. Daltrey gets nervous about being on telly, and thinks that Allan Love is alright in the 1979 tour of Tommy. However, he thinks that Love should get a haircut, as well as himself, claiming that he looks like an “ageing hippy”.
The Swap: In return for a tracksuit, a Premier snare drum and a copy of the Who Are You album, Roger and Kenney want to know under what name The Who recorded their first single.
ABBA
Not for the first time do band members skive off of Swap Shop appearances. Benny and Bjorn pass on their apologies to Noel, as Agnetha and Frida are “too tired” to come on the show. Before they can add the excuse that their dog chewed the BBC entry pass, Noel distracts them with a very nice card from a girl called Georgina for Frida’s birthday on the 15th November (this edition was broadcast on the 10th). On the subject yet again of America, the boys respond that US audiences are “warm, spontaneous, open kind of people”.
Things to note: The girls design their clothes but hire someone else to make them. The band are planning to do a live LP (which never materialises). Benny and Bjorn like listening to classical, pop, and rock music. They first met at a party 15 years ago, and then met the girls 10 years ago. Their biggest influence is Lennon and McCartney. While they have little time for hobbies (and also little time for sightseeing in London), Bjorn and Benny like reading, hanging out with their kids, and jogging. They are not superstitious. When it comes to the choice of vocal on each song, they “just have a good argument”.
The Swap: A non-sweaty sweatshirt, cups, a copy of the Greatest Hits 2 LP, and a tape recorder – which you can’t play the record on, alas. Benny and Bjorn’s poser is: Where was King Charles 14th born?
XTC
Not one but two performances on Swap Shop when they guested in February 1981. As well as the Sgt Rock (Is Going To Help Me) hit, the band also perform the excellent Paper And Iron (Notes And Coins) – during which Andy Partridge pulls lots of crazy gurning faces (see screengrab above for one of the best examples).
Things to note: A bit of a short interview – possibly because Colin Moulding is missing a phone at first. But two tidbits of info: Sgt Rock was inspired by a character from a comic book, while Colin’s favourite song is Making Plans For Nigel. I’m pretty sure that Andy later referred to the host as “Know-All” in an interview.
The Swap: A huge haul of goodies for any self-respecting XTC connoisseur: A gold disc of Drums And Wires. A tour jacket, T-shirt and tie. A copy of the Black Sea album. And most intriguingly of all, framed artwork for the Sgt Rock single sleeve. In order to win this lot, Colin wants to know the place of Nigel’s work in Making Plans For Nigel.
Adam Ant
In the austere climate of 1981, Adam is looking to bring a bit of excitement to the country. “It’s nice to be a little bit optimistic,” he says – another quietly spoken chap who’s a complete contrast to the flamboyant dandy highwayman. Like The Who, Adam discusses the financial pitfalls of touring, explaining that he’s lucky to break even after the likes of transport costs dent the profits.
Things to note: A lady called Eve makes Adam Ant’s clothes, and for some reason, today, he’s come wearing a kid’s waistcoat. The name of Adam And The Ants came along by accident, when it was coined by one of the group. Adam’s hobbies include cinema, reading, long walks, and work. He can plays bass & rhythm guitars. He was influenced by Roxy Music, Alice Cooper, and T-Rex.
The Swap: A Frontier tour T-shirt with a Danny Klein design logo: it’s no longer available, and to go with this eBay hot potato is a matching towel. Plus, Adam’s offering a badge, a Kings Of The Wild Frontier LP, two posters, and his very own brass belt buckle. The question? How many different species of ant are there in Britain right now?
Karen Carpenter
Like ABBA, Karen sends her apologies, as brother Richard is apparently in the studio, but has a bit of a tummy bug. Those BBC canteen breakfasts should always be avoided at all costs. So as Richard does his best to recover with a cool drink and a potty, Karen discusses the duo’s busy fortnight, having just toured Paris, Amsterdam, London, Germany, and Rio – although this was for promotional TV appearances rather than actual concerts. Altogether, the crew involved numbered 11 on stage, and up to 32, including roadies. Karen explains that The Carpenters “took a vacation after eight constant years,” but having “got tired of sitting down… now we’re standing up again”.
Things to note: Karen started to play drums age 16. She idolised Richard and his musical ability and wanted to be like him, and so joined a marching band. While Karen says that there is a “large chance of another UK tour, in about 6-8 months” time, sadly this will never come to fruition. Karen’s favourite song used to be Goodbye To Love or Close To You but is now We Are In Love (which was a wedding song specially written for her by Richard).
The Swap: Alas, the clip doesn’t feature the question, but Karen’s brought along albums, signed pictures, and a clunky Astro Wars space invaders kind of thing that Noel seems curiously averse to.
(Screengrabs credited to BBC)
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